Plight....what is a plight?...."A dangerous, difficult or otherwise unfortunate situation". Some definite unfortunate situations have happened in some of my friends lives lately and I look at my own life and have definitely had my fair share of 'plights'. The one I am referring to in this post though is the fat girls plight, which inevitably is what keeps fat girls fat and is the definition of low self esteem and self worth. Putting ourselves in situations where we think we are being accepted and supported. But what turns out to be is that this man or this "good friend" who wants something from us. That in itself is the definition of the fat girls plight, choosing to be used and abused because you seek acceptance and love.
You may still be wondering...what is the fat girls plight? Well, if you are fat or have every been fat you will understand this. Not to say that people who are skinny won't understand, but I feel this as a fat girl. I know that this applies to anyone who don't fit the "norm", but again, I feel it as a fat girl. The world has taught me and the world has shown me, that who I am is "not ok". That no one will ever love me romantically if I'm overweight, that nobody ways to marry a fat girl. So much of my life has been spent trying to lose weight, trying to make myself 'acceptable' to society. I spent a lot of middle school and high school being treated like a fat girl, though I would give anything to be that weight again. But my peers didn't see me that way, I was fat compared to them. Having a "crush" was crazy, so crazy that even if I had one (and I definitely did), I couldn't tell anyone about it. Why? Because they would look at me crazy and let me know non verbally that I didn't stand a chance, why?, because I was fat and unpopular. I needed to accept my place at the bottom of the barrel. I finally got to a place in life, where I realized how much I was worth, regardless of how big or small I was. I am so thankful that I know my worth, that I know who I am inside and out and that this time my journey is seeking to live a longer life.
I have self worth, I love myself and I know who I am...for the most part. I have had some other great conversations with another great woman in my life, where we have pondered over the way we are raised as women. That even though we love ourselves and we know our worth, we still are raised to assume the worst out of men. That they are only out to hurt us and that we should question every move they make. As a fat girl, I feel this even more so. There were numerous times in my life where I was led to believe I had a friend or that someone might actually like me, but it was all a sham and it was rubbed in my face. Basically telling me that I was fool to believe that I was worth someone else's time or that they had any interest in me as a person. All they really wanted was to use me for one reason or another. And the more you are used and abused, the more you believe all that shit you are told. Fat girls are notoriously those girls with low self esteem, those who are constantly seeking acceptance. So they allow others to use and abuse them because they want to be accepted, even just for a minute. They usually don't realize until too late that it's a sham and thus perpetuates who they are. It's a vicious cycle that for a lot of the girls, leads to eating and more eating and staying fat. That was me....middle school....high school....and even college. I am willing to bet there are a million women who have lived the fat girls plight and many who are still living it today.
I have a man who loves me, a man who chose me at my heaviest. Yet there are still days where my fat girl gets the best of me and she looks at him and asks on the inside 'why is he with me?', 'is he going to cheat on me when he finds someone skinnier?' and a million other horrible questions. Why are we raised to believe we aren't good enough? Why are we raised to believe that every man will cheat on us? Why? Because we have seen so many good men who are married to or committed to amazing women...who have cheated. That's when your fat girl plight takes over, and says, "well if she can't keep her man, how do I even have a chance."
I know all of this may seem crazy, but it's what I've been thinking about lately. I do have a man, a man who loves me. A man who encourages me when I'm working on being healthy and a man who will eat with me when I want to eat. He has never made me feel fat, he makes me feel beautiful. I'm gonna go with that, I'm gonna believe in that.
A Fat Girl’s Plight…Amazing!!! This should be your name of your self help book, because you just nailed my life and self worth in a nut shell right there. Paragraph three sounded like me perfectly, and wow did that just shine light on my life. I seriously felt like I wrote that paragraph myself. I’m so glad I am not the only one to feel like that. If you have ever struggled with your weight or spouts of dis “normalness” ever in your life you carry that around forever, no matter how much you change. That was so powerful, thank you for that! That article just made me want to be better and go out and tell everyone that’s ever treated me like that, to screw off! Thank you Alison!
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