Day 37: Boo-YA Grandma!

It's weigh in day people and the finale of my stickin to the food plan.  I can say with all honesty that the food plan the last 24 hours has gone out the window, well maybe like halfway out.  I stuck to the plan yesterday.  I was supposed to have soup for lunch and then be able to make good choices at staff dinner time.  Instead, I had pork tacos at our favorite bbq place that turned out to be low points for lunch and then I had my soup for dinner.  I ended up ordering lots of delicious pizza for the staff meeting and it took all of my power to not gorge myself on my favorite pizza.  I did allow myself a small slice of my favorite vegetarian pizza.  I cut one of the slices in half and I savored that piece for the rest of the night.  Abstaining from highly fattening food on a regular basis makes you love it that much more when you get to have it.  When I got home from work (which was particularly stressful in how the day ended), I had an eating accident.  I was feeling emotional and instead of climbing in bed or blogging about it, I ate an entire cereal bowl full of doritos.  I don't even particularly like doritos, but damn, they tasted good last night.

Feeling remorse for my accident last night, I got myself up and combated that food accident with cardio!  I got myself to the pool and swam laps and tonight I hit up Greenlake for a brisk walk with my little man and my friend Kate and her pup.  I got my swim on Monday as well and Tuesday morning I took the morning off (yay for self care!!!) and enjoyed the last bit of sunshine for the week with a 2 hour walk through the neighborhoods with Pete.  It was most joyful and tons of vitamin D and positivity was soaked up during those hours.

Today was a different story. I did get up and combat the accident with cardio and then I stuck to the plan for breakfast.  I had a piece of toast and a single egg and my coffee.  I headed straight off to my meeting to get weighed in and then I had to run a few errands and get some important people to the airport.  So, the weigh in, WAS GREAT!!  I will divulge the results in a few, but this moment was such an elation for me that I then decided, very deliberately I might add, to throw the food plan out the window.  Not really the best choice, but it happened.  I consumed trail mix at Target, I then consumed a croissant that my airport patrons purchased me and then I ate my favorite sandwich (the Rajun Cajun) from my favorite sandwich shop.  I then consumed potato chips and two pieces of chocolate before I left work.  Ehhhhh, I was definitely feeling pretty good about myself, which is why I went right ahead and treated myself in every way possible.  We shall see if this comes back to bite me in the big fat ass.  I did an extra cardio session tonight though as I aforementioned and thus in my mind cancelled out part of my days worth of accidents.

The food plan worked though, for the most part in my mind, it worked.  I may continue to "plan" my weeks meals, leaving room for free choice, which I feel is necessary so as to not feel locked down.  When I feel locked down, I just want to break free.  I don't want to be confined to a certain mold and I will do whatever necessary to make sure I don't feel that suffocation of my lack of choice.  But I want more than anything to be free of this weight so that I can do everything I was meant to do in life.  So at this moment, I need to let that win.  I didn't necessarily lose as much weight as I was hoping this week, but I have to keep reminding myself that on the WW plan, you can expect to lose .5-2 pounds a week.  But I've been stepping up the cardio, so I guess that makes my expectations higher.  My cardio isn't super high impact, but it's steady and it ramps up my heart rate.  I'm looking for longevity.  I'm looking for endurance.  Both of these things are what I desire for this journey, so it's a great parallel for my physical activity.  Slow and steady wins the race, right?  I also fear loads of saggy skin, which is a topic for another post, but I fear that if I lose weight too fast, my skin and my body can't keep up (which is what I see when I watch the Biggest Loser, saggy boobs and tummy skin, yuck!).  So I will stick with the tortoise and let the hare wear himself out.  I see the tortoise as a woman and the hare as a man...another topic, maybe.

Here's some topics I have been pondering that you can look forward to in upcoming posts this year....

*Hair and Obesity, or as I like to call it....hair hair everywhere
*Self Control
*Does muscle really weigh more than fat?
*Big boned...a fat persons excuse to stay fat
*Abstaining from bad food doesn't really make you want it less, people lie to themselves to make themselves appear healthier by feeding you all lines of crap like that.

On to the important things....the weigh in....

Current Weight:  276.9
Weight Lost this Week:  1.8
Total Weight Lost:  16.2
Pounds to go:  102.6

BOOOOOO-YAYAYAYAYA  Grandmama!  Soooooo close to being under 100 pounds to lose.  I want that.  I feel success this week!  Exciting things are happening and I'm still eating food because I love it.  That will never stop.