Day 29: Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?

Who me?  YES YOU!

It was me, I confess.  The cookies... all the cookies and all the candies that are missing from life right now have probably been eaten by me.  I love Weight Watchers, but when they allow you to eat what you want within your points, sometimes I do just that, I eat what I want.  I eat raw fruits and veggies and then consume the rest of my points in sweets, my most arched nemeses.  I also know that I am an emotional eater, but not necessarily always on the negative emotion side.  I love to 'treat' myself.  When I have worked out once, maybe even twice a day, I feel like I need to have sugar, I NEED to eat treats.  How to get over that?  I'm not sure I'm afraid.  That is something I seek to know, seek to change.  Suggestions?  Anybody dealt with that?  Magic Cure?  I need to figure out how to control that.

I think I need a plan...

I struggle to plan ahead.  I'm pretty good about planning ahead for lunch, I have a shelf in the fridge at work for my food and I know the point value of everything on that shelf.  It's all the other delicious treats and foods that arise in my day that I have a hard time saying 'no' to.  I have my breakfasts planned out as well depending on if I do a morning workout or not and what my time constraints are.  Dinner and "evening time" always get me to.  I love to experiment and cook things for my hunk-a-burnin-love at night and I'm not necessarily even hungry when I eat them, but I made them, so I'm not gonna say no.  EPIPHANY!!  I DON'T SAY NO.  Not really to anything.  I say yes to anyone who needs me, I say yes to any task thrown my way and I say yes to food.  I seek to please, I'm a pleaser.  I don't want to be one to ask for help, I want to be the one in control that other's come to.  I know this, I guess I didn't realize it transcends directly to my food habits as well.  I am constantly busy, I rarely have a night or a moment during the day where I don't have something to do or have something planned or say yes to extra work or commitments.  Because I am constantly on the go, I say YES to food choices I know I should say NO to.  But because I didn't plan ahead for that part of life, I allow myself to cheat, to make bad choices and to ultimately quit.  I say things like "I just go too busy".  Taking care of myself physically just goes to the back burner so I can please others and step up and be the BEST at everything.

This is what needs to be different....I need to plan and to say NO.  I need to know my limitations, to set goals, to set boundaries and seek to complete those to the best of my abilities.  So much easier said than done.  I want the best for my life and for myself, so I work myself to be the bone, so I can have more so I can be more in this life.  But I won't be able to enjoy it if I don't say NO to myself.  I need to say NO, when I want to get 'too busy'.  Let's be honest, when am I not busy, never.  I feel like I constantly wait for life to slow down, for the busy "season" of the year to pass me by and then I realize it never comes.

So tomorrow is weigh in day.  I am nervous, as I will always be on weigh in day.  But the cookie monster in me and my self-treating is what I'm worried about on the scale.  I have swam laps the last two mornings and walked on top of that.  I'm gonna hit the pool again tomorrow before I weigh in, hoping my body doesn't absorb too much water before weigh in.

Goal for this week is to plan.  Plan out my meals and snacks for the next week.  To eat ONLY the things I plan, to say NO to all the extras.  Tomorrow's weigh in post will include my weeks worth of meals for all of you.  I want to be accountable to what I plan, so I will then post at the end of the week what I actually ate.  This could prove to be difficult as the SuperBowl is Sunday and I am making food for my man's friends that are coming to watch at our place.  I aim to impress with my food, so I will need some limitations on myself for that day.

Working on control this week, self-control...