Who me? YES YOU!
It was me, I confess. The cookies... all the cookies and all the candies that are missing from life right now have probably been eaten by me. I love Weight Watchers, but when they allow you to eat what you want within your points, sometimes I do just that, I eat what I want. I eat raw fruits and veggies and then consume the rest of my points in sweets, my most arched nemeses. I also know that I am an emotional eater, but not necessarily always on the negative emotion side. I love to 'treat' myself. When I have worked out once, maybe even twice a day, I feel like I need to have sugar, I NEED to eat treats. How to get over that? I'm not sure I'm afraid. That is something I seek to know, seek to change. Suggestions? Anybody dealt with that? Magic Cure? I need to figure out how to control that.
I think I need a plan...
I struggle to plan ahead. I'm pretty good about planning ahead for lunch, I have a shelf in the fridge at work for my food and I know the point value of everything on that shelf. It's all the other delicious treats and foods that arise in my day that I have a hard time saying 'no' to. I have my breakfasts planned out as well depending on if I do a morning workout or not and what my time constraints are. Dinner and "evening time" always get me to. I love to experiment and cook things for my hunk-a-burnin-love at night and I'm not necessarily even hungry when I eat them, but I made them, so I'm not gonna say no. EPIPHANY!! I DON'T SAY NO. Not really to anything. I say yes to anyone who needs me, I say yes to any task thrown my way and I say yes to food. I seek to please, I'm a pleaser. I don't want to be one to ask for help, I want to be the one in control that other's come to. I know this, I guess I didn't realize it transcends directly to my food habits as well. I am constantly busy, I rarely have a night or a moment during the day where I don't have something to do or have something planned or say yes to extra work or commitments. Because I am constantly on the go, I say YES to food choices I know I should say NO to. But because I didn't plan ahead for that part of life, I allow myself to cheat, to make bad choices and to ultimately quit. I say things like "I just go too busy". Taking care of myself physically just goes to the back burner so I can please others and step up and be the BEST at everything.
This is what needs to be different....I need to plan and to say NO. I need to know my limitations, to set goals, to set boundaries and seek to complete those to the best of my abilities. So much easier said than done. I want the best for my life and for myself, so I work myself to be the bone, so I can have more so I can be more in this life. But I won't be able to enjoy it if I don't say NO to myself. I need to say NO, when I want to get 'too busy'. Let's be honest, when am I not busy, never. I feel like I constantly wait for life to slow down, for the busy "season" of the year to pass me by and then I realize it never comes.
So tomorrow is weigh in day. I am nervous, as I will always be on weigh in day. But the cookie monster in me and my self-treating is what I'm worried about on the scale. I have swam laps the last two mornings and walked on top of that. I'm gonna hit the pool again tomorrow before I weigh in, hoping my body doesn't absorb too much water before weigh in.
Goal for this week is to plan. Plan out my meals and snacks for the next week. To eat ONLY the things I plan, to say NO to all the extras. Tomorrow's weigh in post will include my weeks worth of meals for all of you. I want to be accountable to what I plan, so I will then post at the end of the week what I actually ate. This could prove to be difficult as the SuperBowl is Sunday and I am making food for my man's friends that are coming to watch at our place. I aim to impress with my food, so I will need some limitations on myself for that day.
Working on control this week, self-control...
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Day 27: The candy man can cause he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good.
Man I love candy. I'm watching Willy Wonka on tv as my blogging background of choice. It's a temptation that I can't eat, thankfully.
After my enlightenment about the scale, Thursday took a quick downturn for this woman. The day started off with an unexpected phone call that sent me rushing to work for some forgotten items. ugh! I hate when that happens. I planned on sleeping in and doing things from home, but instead I had to shoot out of bed and get myself rushing. I did decided that me having to rush to work on my day off meant I could stop for a latte, but when I got there, the line was soooo long, there was no way I was waiting in that mess, so I opted to just suck it up and down some satisfying ice water instead. I got quite a bit done at work, and then had a surprise visit from my brother and we go a chance to meet up and go to lunch! We headed to an amazing Puerto Rican restaurant and I indulged in some sweet potato fries and a delicious pulled pork sandwich covered in veggies. The sandwich was so good, I didn't need to eat very many of the fries and the best thing about the pork was it wasn't slathered in bbq sauce, but it was slow cooked in some amazing spices in a broth. I was a great choice and it was so delicious. I was feeling good about lunch choices thus far. I headed back to work to get a few more things done before I go to head out with one of my amazing teens. We were headed to a training to some much needed shopping for her special event. I did however fall into the desk candy trap this week. I did a round of encouragement for my staff on Wednesday night, which kept me at work until 9:30. Who can write encouragement notes with adorning the envelopes with sweet treats. Sweet treats of choice this week were Dove Hearts. Ahhh! I'm a sucker for Dove hearts and anything chocolate really. So, I've been 'treating' myself multiple times a day. I seriously have no control over chocolate, which is why I can't have it around. I need to do some more encouraging soon and send out the rest of my temptation.
There was a great veggie and fruit spread at the training I went to with my special young lady. Perfect! I can have all the fruits and veggies I want. Training got over quickly and we headed out to our shopping extravaganza. This trip was a huge success and we all got what we wanted! Shopping for this special event also includes dinner out. May I remind you that I already went out for lunch, so this was meal #2 out on the town. We decided to try the new Hard Rock Cafe downtown Seattle. So instead of going for a salad or a lighter dinner, be both went gung ho for the huge burger and fries with an onion ring and bacon. Damn! It was delicious, but I had some remorse hanging out in the back of my head and the bottom of my stomach. It was the first time since I started this journey that I had eaten until I was uncomfortable. I hate being uncomfortable in my clothes due to overstuffing of the mouth. Not good moments. Upon arriving home, my pooch was desperate for a walk, but I was so full that I couldn't even move. FAIL #2 for the evening. I do believe however that before I went to bed that I was able to complete my ab set for the night. A small redemption after a day of failure.
Friday was a much better day. I had time to stop for a latte, the line was long, but I had time, so I waited patiently. Completely avoided the pastry case and scooted my big bum to work. Mid morning snack was an apple. For lunch I had a string cheese and some wheat thins. All of these things were within my means for the day, I was trying hard cut back after my day of overindulgence. I ate WELL OVER my allotted points for the day. So today I was making up for it. A couple more of those evil Dove Hearts made their way into my stomach before I could escape from the grasps of work. Home for some more work and then a dinner date with my favorite 'family'. I opted for soup and some cheese flatbread. A good choice. I ended the night with some sugar free jello a fiber bar. I have been eating a fiber bar a day and I feel like my GI is getting back on track which makes me happier than you know. Despite getting home late, it was time to get out for walk. Pete and I booked it! We walked about 4 miles in almost an hour. It was a great night for a walk, very crisp and clear. Came home for some FBing and PINing. Too many things on my computer suck the free time out of me like no other.
Ahhhhhh.....Saturday. One of my favorite days of the week. We have some open units in our apartment complex, so I was up and ready to show the units. I had a showing that was late, so I got all my laundry started while I waited (a great start to the day). After the showing, some laundry rotation and then I was ready to venture out with the dog before my next appointment. I had seen the University Farmers Market on some of my weekend drives, I decided it was time for Pete and I to check it out. I absolutely adore the Ballard Sunday Market and the Fremont Sunday Market, so I was sure the UW equivalent would be great. I looked it up online last night to make sure I knew what hours they operated, etc... So, it's about a mile hike UPHILL from my place to the market, knowing it was going to be downhill all the way back made the hike up worth it. I had been wanting to try some new recipes that I discovered on Pinterest, my newest online addiction. I went to the market in search of ingredients for these dishes. Upon arriving at the market, huffing and puffing, we headed into the market. People were looking at my like I had some sort of communicable disease, I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I knew I wasn't imagining it, I was getting serious dirty looks. I made it down the first aisle and then noticed a sign at one of the other entrances "NO DOGS". Well, that explains the dirty looks, but I was super annoyed. I understand that not everyone loves dogs and I can respect that. I would never bring my dog into a business where he was not welcome and I would never assume that he was welcome in anyones home or business unless I had asked first. Bt I checked the website last night and it didn't say anything about no dogs and the entrance I came in DID NOT have a sign. I wish instead of people giving me dirty looks, someone would have just said something. So, instead of getting the items I needed, I had to turn around and take the pooch back to the house. I wasn't about to trek back up that hill, so I jumped in the car and headed back up to the market. The market didn't have anything I needed, so I went over to the grocery store to check out my items. I can tell you that I will be sticking to the Fremont and Ballard Markets from now on. I'm hoping the weather tomorrow will cooperate and I can hit the burke gilman over to Fremont tomorrow.
The first dish I was working on is a 'chocolate chip cookie dough dip'. It's to satiate my sweet tooth in the healthiest way possible. It's made with garbanzo beans, brown sugar, vanilla and a few other ingredients. It's a dessert hummus. I whipped it up, wasn't crazy about the taste. It was tasty, but it was 'off'. I made a new batch that turned out better, but I decided there was no way I could each both batches that I had made. So, I decided to bake the batter and see what happens. It made cookie type bars, pretty good if I can get past the fact they are made with garbanzo beans and not flour. I must also mention for my friends who are GF/DF/EF, these are totally for you! One of the other recipes I will be working on tonight is a freezer breakfast meal that should last me about two months. I picked up peppers, onions, mushrooms, potatoes, eggs and chicken sausage. I am going to make a breakfast burrito filling. I will be adding the filling to 36 small four tortillas, sprinkling some cheese on them and then wrapping in plastic wrap and ziplocing them up. They are a quick and easy breakfast with veggies and protein for 5 points each!! You take them out and nuke them in the plastic wrap (steaming effect) in the microwave and chow down! I'm really excited for these. A great way for me to get my breakfast in and in a healthy way. I myself prefer corn tortillas, but I don't think they will hold up as well as the flour for this recipe. I also have a great cookie recipe that I want to try. I love oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and someone has promised that this will be the ultimate. I can't wait to try them. I also have been getting great tips on Pinterest on how to store food. My biggest issue, especially with desserts and cookies is that I bake the entire batch and then I want to EAT the entire batch. With these cookies I am going to freeze the dough balls and then I can take 1 or 2 out at a time and keep myself in control.
Sunday was near perfect. I slept in as late as my body would let me, which today was noon. Yikes! I missed the swim session I was planning on making. The man and I headed to my aunt and uncles house for a late lunch of flank steak, sweet potatoes and veggies galore. So delish and it was under 10 points for the whole lunch. I stopped by my favorite peoples house to visit for a bit and then home again home again jiggity jig. I headed out and shaved 10 minutes off my walk from Friday. I was in the mood to book it because it was raining and I was ready to eat again, all the more reason to get home quickly. Dinner was a cup of bbq chicken strips leftover from Friday, some wheat crackers and a babybel. A weird dinner, but it worked for me. I also ate a cookie dough ball, yummy. I will be freezing the rest tomorrow so I'm not tempted to keep eating the dough. Tomorrow is Monday again, my how the time flies. Early morning swim with Noelle and a great day ahead!
Feeling good about what this week brings and I am on track to being active. I am in love with walking and I am finding more routes that I want to explore. I want to continue eating as low carb as possible and this week my goal is to eat raw vegetables every day and to do at least 45 minutes of cardio for 7 days in a row, starting today (especially since I've already done it) through next Friday. Enjoy the photos of my creations for the weekend!
Love what you are doing today and eat something yummy for me!
Cookie Dough Dip - Baked Edition
After my enlightenment about the scale, Thursday took a quick downturn for this woman. The day started off with an unexpected phone call that sent me rushing to work for some forgotten items. ugh! I hate when that happens. I planned on sleeping in and doing things from home, but instead I had to shoot out of bed and get myself rushing. I did decided that me having to rush to work on my day off meant I could stop for a latte, but when I got there, the line was soooo long, there was no way I was waiting in that mess, so I opted to just suck it up and down some satisfying ice water instead. I got quite a bit done at work, and then had a surprise visit from my brother and we go a chance to meet up and go to lunch! We headed to an amazing Puerto Rican restaurant and I indulged in some sweet potato fries and a delicious pulled pork sandwich covered in veggies. The sandwich was so good, I didn't need to eat very many of the fries and the best thing about the pork was it wasn't slathered in bbq sauce, but it was slow cooked in some amazing spices in a broth. I was a great choice and it was so delicious. I was feeling good about lunch choices thus far. I headed back to work to get a few more things done before I go to head out with one of my amazing teens. We were headed to a training to some much needed shopping for her special event. I did however fall into the desk candy trap this week. I did a round of encouragement for my staff on Wednesday night, which kept me at work until 9:30. Who can write encouragement notes with adorning the envelopes with sweet treats. Sweet treats of choice this week were Dove Hearts. Ahhh! I'm a sucker for Dove hearts and anything chocolate really. So, I've been 'treating' myself multiple times a day. I seriously have no control over chocolate, which is why I can't have it around. I need to do some more encouraging soon and send out the rest of my temptation.
There was a great veggie and fruit spread at the training I went to with my special young lady. Perfect! I can have all the fruits and veggies I want. Training got over quickly and we headed out to our shopping extravaganza. This trip was a huge success and we all got what we wanted! Shopping for this special event also includes dinner out. May I remind you that I already went out for lunch, so this was meal #2 out on the town. We decided to try the new Hard Rock Cafe downtown Seattle. So instead of going for a salad or a lighter dinner, be both went gung ho for the huge burger and fries with an onion ring and bacon. Damn! It was delicious, but I had some remorse hanging out in the back of my head and the bottom of my stomach. It was the first time since I started this journey that I had eaten until I was uncomfortable. I hate being uncomfortable in my clothes due to overstuffing of the mouth. Not good moments. Upon arriving home, my pooch was desperate for a walk, but I was so full that I couldn't even move. FAIL #2 for the evening. I do believe however that before I went to bed that I was able to complete my ab set for the night. A small redemption after a day of failure.
Friday was a much better day. I had time to stop for a latte, the line was long, but I had time, so I waited patiently. Completely avoided the pastry case and scooted my big bum to work. Mid morning snack was an apple. For lunch I had a string cheese and some wheat thins. All of these things were within my means for the day, I was trying hard cut back after my day of overindulgence. I ate WELL OVER my allotted points for the day. So today I was making up for it. A couple more of those evil Dove Hearts made their way into my stomach before I could escape from the grasps of work. Home for some more work and then a dinner date with my favorite 'family'. I opted for soup and some cheese flatbread. A good choice. I ended the night with some sugar free jello a fiber bar. I have been eating a fiber bar a day and I feel like my GI is getting back on track which makes me happier than you know. Despite getting home late, it was time to get out for walk. Pete and I booked it! We walked about 4 miles in almost an hour. It was a great night for a walk, very crisp and clear. Came home for some FBing and PINing. Too many things on my computer suck the free time out of me like no other.
Ahhhhhh.....Saturday. One of my favorite days of the week. We have some open units in our apartment complex, so I was up and ready to show the units. I had a showing that was late, so I got all my laundry started while I waited (a great start to the day). After the showing, some laundry rotation and then I was ready to venture out with the dog before my next appointment. I had seen the University Farmers Market on some of my weekend drives, I decided it was time for Pete and I to check it out. I absolutely adore the Ballard Sunday Market and the Fremont Sunday Market, so I was sure the UW equivalent would be great. I looked it up online last night to make sure I knew what hours they operated, etc... So, it's about a mile hike UPHILL from my place to the market, knowing it was going to be downhill all the way back made the hike up worth it. I had been wanting to try some new recipes that I discovered on Pinterest, my newest online addiction. I went to the market in search of ingredients for these dishes. Upon arriving at the market, huffing and puffing, we headed into the market. People were looking at my like I had some sort of communicable disease, I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I knew I wasn't imagining it, I was getting serious dirty looks. I made it down the first aisle and then noticed a sign at one of the other entrances "NO DOGS". Well, that explains the dirty looks, but I was super annoyed. I understand that not everyone loves dogs and I can respect that. I would never bring my dog into a business where he was not welcome and I would never assume that he was welcome in anyones home or business unless I had asked first. Bt I checked the website last night and it didn't say anything about no dogs and the entrance I came in DID NOT have a sign. I wish instead of people giving me dirty looks, someone would have just said something. So, instead of getting the items I needed, I had to turn around and take the pooch back to the house. I wasn't about to trek back up that hill, so I jumped in the car and headed back up to the market. The market didn't have anything I needed, so I went over to the grocery store to check out my items. I can tell you that I will be sticking to the Fremont and Ballard Markets from now on. I'm hoping the weather tomorrow will cooperate and I can hit the burke gilman over to Fremont tomorrow.
The first dish I was working on is a 'chocolate chip cookie dough dip'. It's to satiate my sweet tooth in the healthiest way possible. It's made with garbanzo beans, brown sugar, vanilla and a few other ingredients. It's a dessert hummus. I whipped it up, wasn't crazy about the taste. It was tasty, but it was 'off'. I made a new batch that turned out better, but I decided there was no way I could each both batches that I had made. So, I decided to bake the batter and see what happens. It made cookie type bars, pretty good if I can get past the fact they are made with garbanzo beans and not flour. I must also mention for my friends who are GF/DF/EF, these are totally for you! One of the other recipes I will be working on tonight is a freezer breakfast meal that should last me about two months. I picked up peppers, onions, mushrooms, potatoes, eggs and chicken sausage. I am going to make a breakfast burrito filling. I will be adding the filling to 36 small four tortillas, sprinkling some cheese on them and then wrapping in plastic wrap and ziplocing them up. They are a quick and easy breakfast with veggies and protein for 5 points each!! You take them out and nuke them in the plastic wrap (steaming effect) in the microwave and chow down! I'm really excited for these. A great way for me to get my breakfast in and in a healthy way. I myself prefer corn tortillas, but I don't think they will hold up as well as the flour for this recipe. I also have a great cookie recipe that I want to try. I love oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and someone has promised that this will be the ultimate. I can't wait to try them. I also have been getting great tips on Pinterest on how to store food. My biggest issue, especially with desserts and cookies is that I bake the entire batch and then I want to EAT the entire batch. With these cookies I am going to freeze the dough balls and then I can take 1 or 2 out at a time and keep myself in control.
Sunday was near perfect. I slept in as late as my body would let me, which today was noon. Yikes! I missed the swim session I was planning on making. The man and I headed to my aunt and uncles house for a late lunch of flank steak, sweet potatoes and veggies galore. So delish and it was under 10 points for the whole lunch. I stopped by my favorite peoples house to visit for a bit and then home again home again jiggity jig. I headed out and shaved 10 minutes off my walk from Friday. I was in the mood to book it because it was raining and I was ready to eat again, all the more reason to get home quickly. Dinner was a cup of bbq chicken strips leftover from Friday, some wheat crackers and a babybel. A weird dinner, but it worked for me. I also ate a cookie dough ball, yummy. I will be freezing the rest tomorrow so I'm not tempted to keep eating the dough. Tomorrow is Monday again, my how the time flies. Early morning swim with Noelle and a great day ahead!
Feeling good about what this week brings and I am on track to being active. I am in love with walking and I am finding more routes that I want to explore. I want to continue eating as low carb as possible and this week my goal is to eat raw vegetables every day and to do at least 45 minutes of cardio for 7 days in a row, starting today (especially since I've already done it) through next Friday. Enjoy the photos of my creations for the weekend!
Love what you are doing today and eat something yummy for me!
Cookie Dough Dip - Baked Edition
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Day 23: Baby move your butt, butt, butt
Whew! It's been four days since I last enlightened you all with my antics. I hope I live up to your expectations, and if I don't....well $%#& you! I decided at the beginning of this week to do my best to abstain from carbs in the form of grains for the week. I can tell you that I instantly failed that task this week. I would also like to say that it was unintentional at first. I did great all day Sunday because I was sick and I didn't really eat anything. Monday, I was still illin' and I didn't each much of anything besides hot liquid and alka-seltzer all day at work. After work I couldn't resist the invite to have Pho with my teens, nor did I even attempt to resist because I wanted to join them. In my mind I was thinking, Pho is so good for you and I just resisted a pink frosted cookie, go for it! It's broth, veggies, protein and it will be hot and spicy and open up my sinuses. What I didn't even think about until after I had consumed the entire bowl was that I had consumed a wad of rice noodles as well. Oopsie! But I needed the food, I hadn't eaten in two days. Being sick really threw me off my cardio train as well. I was in bed Saturday night and all day Sunday. Monday I was still so sluggish that I couldn't go much further than the end of the block and I was in bed minutes after walking through the door. Tuesday was a 12 hour work day and I felt like my head was going to blow up with anxiety and exhaustion. But when I got home, I hooked that dog up the leash and went out at 10:30. I didn't care, I NEEDED TO CALM MYSELF DOWN. My brain has been running 100 mph this week with the ridiculous amount of work on my plate. It worked, I slowed my brain, I worked my body and then I slept.
Now, I decided also that I would get up and swim this morning. Crazy I know. I didn't adhere to my strict 8 hours of sleep a night. But I haven't deviated much from it since this began. And guess what...I did it BITCHES!!! I got out of bed at 5:30am and headed to the pool, it felt amazing. I got to work, and before I knew it, today ended up being a 14 hour work day. Oopsie again! But not to worry, the last 3 hours of work tonight filled my heart with LOVE, but made my hand hurt like crazy. I love encouraging others and that's what I did. It made my heart happy.
I have failed everyday so far this week in my plan to not eat carbs in the form of grains. It started with the Pho and then it was crackers and then it was rice and then today it was half a bun. I wasn't necessarily angry with myself because that is significantly less than I normally eat, so I'm good with it. I will continue to strive to NOT eat them, but I know myself and it is one of my weaknesses, so I will pray for strength to keep them out of my mouth. Or I will pray for someone to slap them out of my hand.
Today is Wednesday....you know what Wednesday is? It's Weight Watchers Wednesday. I made it to the 12:15 meeting with my favorite Leader Linda. I was rushing from work. I had already had two cups of coffee, 2 eggs, a chicken sausage and about 1/2 oz of cheese for breakfast. Now, if you are a coffee drinker, you know it's a natural laxative. We all know I don't do well with poop, especially lately. My body has been all jacked up. Well....today was another one of those days. I jumped out of my car with my WW Book in hand and headed toward my meeting. I felt that drop in my stomach, that extremely unsettling rumbling and then the butt cheek clench! Ahhhhh!!!!! Panic Poo Strikes Again!!! Now, my WW meeting has a single bathroom, but the bathroom is right next to the weigh-in counter and the entrance to the meeting room. So everyone knows who is in the bathroom and everyone can hear what's happening the bathroom. Panic Poo is NOT quiet! Luckily, this same situation has presented itself before, in this same location. I now know the TJ Maxx next door has a secluded multi-stall restroom in the waaaaay back of their store. I veered to the right and booked it to the back of TJ's, my current savior. Ay yi yi! I made it, get myself up to the counter at WW and jumped on that scale.
The best part about today was that when I weighed in for the first time at WW since gaining all but .2 pounds of my weight back. Their computer was showing that I was up about 18 pounds from the last time I weighed in. The woman behind the counter just handed me my booklet with my weigh-in sticker and smiled at me. "Have a great day sweetie". NO JUDGEMENT! YES!!! You know why I friggin love that place, that's why. They get it. They know that shit happens and it causes us to stumble, to fall, to fall waaaaaaay down the hill. But when you show up and decide to get on that scale, they have nothing but praise for you, no matter what it says. The scale has never been my friend. The scale is even more so my enemy though when I have to get on it in front of other people. There is nothing I hate more than getting on the scale, receiving disappointing news or even worse, unexpected disappointing news and then immediately feeling like I needed to give a laundry list of explanations about why the number is bad. One of the worst places to get on the scale is the doctor. I swear that scale weighs me at my heaviest every time I get on it, even when I've lost weight. Then they put you in the room with the crinkly papered bed and you wait for the doctor to come in and comment about your weight. 'Are you doing anything to help this?' 'Have you tried losing weight?' 'My recommendation is that you drop some weight, it will greatly reduce the risk of a 20 page list of diseases and conditions.' Excuse me, doctor? DUH! I know that WOMAN (my doctor is a woman). Don't you think I've been trying? I mean I know it doesn't look like I have, but I have lost and gained the same 40 pounds like 3 times since I was last in here and it just so happens you are catching me on the gaining end this time. Who are we kidding, the friggin doctor catches me on the 'gaining end' EVERY TIME!
What I love about WW is that the number isn't BAD, it's a number and it's the truth. The truth about how your week was, the truth about where you are at physically and most likely emotionally at that moment. Then you get off and move on. You make plans for a better week, so that next week you can squeal with delight when you get your sticker!
The good news is I didn't get a "BAD" number today. I got a really number. It wasn't a huge loss, but it was a loss. I have higher expectations for myself and I think my body is still balancing out after the cleanse. I have to be happy about where I am a month in. I fear for the months where I won't lose a damn pound and dread even more the months where I will gain weight. It WILL happen, it's the reality of weight loss and how our bodies react. I know this, I just need to prepare myself so that I know this is not a reason to throw in the towel. I beg you, don't let me. I know I have the strength, but I may need some pushes...
So....
Current Weight: 280.1
Weight Loss this Week: 1 pound
Total Weight Loss: 13 pounds
Pounds to Go: 105.8
Goals this week....keep cutting back on carbs and upping my intake of fiber. Keep working my abs (one thing I have been doing daily). Cardio, Cardio, Cardio (baby move your butt, butt, butt). Pounds I hope to lose...3.
Continue eating and loving food.
Now, I decided also that I would get up and swim this morning. Crazy I know. I didn't adhere to my strict 8 hours of sleep a night. But I haven't deviated much from it since this began. And guess what...I did it BITCHES!!! I got out of bed at 5:30am and headed to the pool, it felt amazing. I got to work, and before I knew it, today ended up being a 14 hour work day. Oopsie again! But not to worry, the last 3 hours of work tonight filled my heart with LOVE, but made my hand hurt like crazy. I love encouraging others and that's what I did. It made my heart happy.
I have failed everyday so far this week in my plan to not eat carbs in the form of grains. It started with the Pho and then it was crackers and then it was rice and then today it was half a bun. I wasn't necessarily angry with myself because that is significantly less than I normally eat, so I'm good with it. I will continue to strive to NOT eat them, but I know myself and it is one of my weaknesses, so I will pray for strength to keep them out of my mouth. Or I will pray for someone to slap them out of my hand.
Today is Wednesday....you know what Wednesday is? It's Weight Watchers Wednesday. I made it to the 12:15 meeting with my favorite Leader Linda. I was rushing from work. I had already had two cups of coffee, 2 eggs, a chicken sausage and about 1/2 oz of cheese for breakfast. Now, if you are a coffee drinker, you know it's a natural laxative. We all know I don't do well with poop, especially lately. My body has been all jacked up. Well....today was another one of those days. I jumped out of my car with my WW Book in hand and headed toward my meeting. I felt that drop in my stomach, that extremely unsettling rumbling and then the butt cheek clench! Ahhhhh!!!!! Panic Poo Strikes Again!!! Now, my WW meeting has a single bathroom, but the bathroom is right next to the weigh-in counter and the entrance to the meeting room. So everyone knows who is in the bathroom and everyone can hear what's happening the bathroom. Panic Poo is NOT quiet! Luckily, this same situation has presented itself before, in this same location. I now know the TJ Maxx next door has a secluded multi-stall restroom in the waaaaay back of their store. I veered to the right and booked it to the back of TJ's, my current savior. Ay yi yi! I made it, get myself up to the counter at WW and jumped on that scale.
The best part about today was that when I weighed in for the first time at WW since gaining all but .2 pounds of my weight back. Their computer was showing that I was up about 18 pounds from the last time I weighed in. The woman behind the counter just handed me my booklet with my weigh-in sticker and smiled at me. "Have a great day sweetie". NO JUDGEMENT! YES!!! You know why I friggin love that place, that's why. They get it. They know that shit happens and it causes us to stumble, to fall, to fall waaaaaaay down the hill. But when you show up and decide to get on that scale, they have nothing but praise for you, no matter what it says. The scale has never been my friend. The scale is even more so my enemy though when I have to get on it in front of other people. There is nothing I hate more than getting on the scale, receiving disappointing news or even worse, unexpected disappointing news and then immediately feeling like I needed to give a laundry list of explanations about why the number is bad. One of the worst places to get on the scale is the doctor. I swear that scale weighs me at my heaviest every time I get on it, even when I've lost weight. Then they put you in the room with the crinkly papered bed and you wait for the doctor to come in and comment about your weight. 'Are you doing anything to help this?' 'Have you tried losing weight?' 'My recommendation is that you drop some weight, it will greatly reduce the risk of a 20 page list of diseases and conditions.' Excuse me, doctor? DUH! I know that WOMAN (my doctor is a woman). Don't you think I've been trying? I mean I know it doesn't look like I have, but I have lost and gained the same 40 pounds like 3 times since I was last in here and it just so happens you are catching me on the gaining end this time. Who are we kidding, the friggin doctor catches me on the 'gaining end' EVERY TIME!
What I love about WW is that the number isn't BAD, it's a number and it's the truth. The truth about how your week was, the truth about where you are at physically and most likely emotionally at that moment. Then you get off and move on. You make plans for a better week, so that next week you can squeal with delight when you get your sticker!
The good news is I didn't get a "BAD" number today. I got a really number. It wasn't a huge loss, but it was a loss. I have higher expectations for myself and I think my body is still balancing out after the cleanse. I have to be happy about where I am a month in. I fear for the months where I won't lose a damn pound and dread even more the months where I will gain weight. It WILL happen, it's the reality of weight loss and how our bodies react. I know this, I just need to prepare myself so that I know this is not a reason to throw in the towel. I beg you, don't let me. I know I have the strength, but I may need some pushes...
So....
Current Weight: 280.1
Weight Loss this Week: 1 pound
Total Weight Loss: 13 pounds
Pounds to Go: 105.8
Goals this week....keep cutting back on carbs and upping my intake of fiber. Keep working my abs (one thing I have been doing daily). Cardio, Cardio, Cardio (baby move your butt, butt, butt). Pounds I hope to lose...3.
Continue eating and loving food.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Day 19: Oh Canada, my home and native land
I know the entire Canadian National Anthem....by heart. I know the anthem by heart because I grew up in hockey rinks and if you know anything about hockey, you know Canadians and their national anthem. I'm proud to say if that was all it took for duel citizenship, I'd have it in the bag!!
Why do I bring this up? Well, we attempted to return to the land of that anthem today on a spur of the moment shopping trip, but cut ourselves short and stopped in Mount Vernon. You see I decided today that it was finally time to get myself to the Lululemon outlet store. Now, I'm not one to be obsessed over name brand products or designer gear. I have no shame in shopping at Wal-Mart and I actually love shopping there no matter what people say about that place. I was raised white trash and I will die white trash. Which is also maybe why sometimes I am obsess over having things that are 'status forming' in my eyes. The reason I drive a BMW, the reason I have an iPhone/iPad/MacBook Pro, the reason I purchase high end kitchen gear :). I also have those things because I work my ass off at three jobs and I deserve to treat myself when I want to. So, back to Lululemon. Most of my workout gear has been purchased at Wal-Mart, Target, Ross and places like that. I won't pay more than $15 for workout pants or a sports bra. But I have been lusting after Lulu. She is sooooo damn expensive though, when I saw the outlet on multiple occasions when I was returning from camping trips, I committed to returning one day. Today was that day. After a mani/pedi with Noelle and one of my awesome teens, Noelle agreed to join me on this "short" trip. I was convinced that the outlet was somewhere around Marysville, which is about 40 minutes from Seattle, at most. Well, I was wrong, it was about 40 miles north of Marysville, making it about a 70 minute drive, oops! When we arrived....the outlet wasn't much of an outlet at all, it was their regular priced items that were about $6-$20 off. NOT A DISCOUNT when you are talking about pants that cost $89 and jackets that cost $130. Yikes! So, I settled for capris that were two for one, why? Because I NEEDED them! We then walked over to Nike and I got shoes, a shirt and a jacket for the same price I got the pants at Lulu. But I was happy with all purchases. I also conceded to return home and ask my handsome man to buy me a full price Lulu hoodie.
Now, why all this crazy designer wear you ask? Well, I have been against purchasing "goal clothes" for the last 10 years. I used to do that all the time when I was in high school and I failed miserably every time and I would have to donate the clothes or they would go out of style and I would just junk them. Made me feel worse about myself. But this whole Lulu thing had me thinking, I'm committed right? I don't care how long it takes, I can do this. So, I'm buying one. If I'm gonna drop an obscene amount of money on a hoodie, I want to look GOOD in it. And actually, the handsome man agreed to buy it for me, but still, cha-ching!! So, I'm not buying one in my size. Now, let's be real....Lulu doesn't sell anything for people "my size". So no matter what I bought, it wasn't going to fit me now. But I didn't buy the biggest size, which they call their XL, but it's a size 12. Seriously, when did size 12 become an XL. Holy crap people, that's crazy. Their size L is a 10. That is the size I bought. Now, I don't think their size 10 is true 10. Because I can see that it will take about 30-40 pounds off and it will fit me. Wasn't sure I would reveal this, but I know sizes. I have been ALL sizes that one could imagine. At my heaviest, I was a size 22. Yikes, there it is....that is 12 sizes larger than the hoodie I bought today. Or 6 sizes if you count that women's sizes go up by 2's. Still, never thought when I was younger that I would be that big. By the time I left high school I was a size 18. The last time I was a size 10 was probably sometime in grade school or EARLY middle school. I have never been a small person. I have like I said before, always been active.
So...tonight I will be hanging that hoodie in my cave to look at everyday until I can feel it's warmth against my skin. The pants may fit sooner than that, but that as well will remain to be seen.
The snow has finally left us. I spent three days breaking my back shoveling snow and salting our sidewalks so that none of our residents or passer-bys would have any issues or falls. The job of a resident manager when the weather is shitty, sucks! But I got my sweat on and beefed up my arm muscles for sure. I went for another trek in the snow with Pete, this time sans the donut stop, but we did grab a latte at the end. It was a great three days off, though I was going crazy at the end, ready to get back to work. My revelations from my last post were great, but I was ready to get up and get out of the house. I went to work on Friday and got some things done, slipped around on the streets a bit, but survived nonetheless. Feel as though I made good food choices this week, stayed within my WW points and got myself some great workouts.
I found myself headed to bed last night with a runny nose and stuffy head. I thought that was funny, seeing as though I hadn't been around germy kids all week. So, this morning, I woke up full blown sick. My head was cloudy and my sinuses were jammed with snot. Gross. I had a horrible night sleep and I walked right past my intended weigh in and spaced it out. So...I think this will be the week that I switch my weigh ins to my Weight Watchers meetings. I have decided to let my pride go and be accountable to more than one place. To all of you people and to my WW people. I need to own up to the fact that I gained it back and let them support me in taking it back off. I also just feel like garbage and the last thing I want to do is drag the scale out and weight my big booty. The great thing about being sick though is I have no appetite. I can't taste anything and I'm totally plugged up. So, I haven't had much all day and I'm not really hungry. I had a latte this morning, a small burrito (spinach tortilla, chicken, rice, black beans and a dollop of sour cream) around 4pm and I'm on my fourth cup of tea. I HATE tea, so it says a lot that I am drinking it, trying to beef up my immune system. But other than that, my body is empty.
So, you will have to wait a few more days my friends for the official weigh in of the week.
A few things I have decided this weekend though...to add to my list. I have been having issues since my cleanse with poop. Aside from my panic poo episode and coming down off my cleanse I have been extremely irregular and I hate it. I am a 3 times a day pooper people, and I'm lucky if it happens once a day now. So, I need to fiber it up this week and hopefully get my body back on track. That being said....I have decided to cut out grains this week (bread, noodles, rice, tortillas, oatmeal, etc...) and up my intake of fiber. I have also decided that I need to add in some things to my activity each day. After all this is done, I want abs of steel. So, I figure, it I start my abs now, once I melt the fat off, the abs will just be waiting for me on the other side. So, I have a great 5 ab rotation that I can do daily. Each ab at 20 reps a piece is 100 reps a day. They can be done laying on bed before I go to sleep. So, I am now committing to abs every day. I am also committing to get rid of my flag bearing underarms. So, I want to do push-ups or chair dips every day. I figure I do one when I wake up and one before I got to bed with my cardio during the day, perfection.
So...there you have it. My pride, my greed, my shame and my goals all in one post. It's out there, no holds barred. I still love food, but right now it don't taste good, so I'm choking down my tea...xoxo
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Day 16: Snow Snow Snow Snow Snow!!!
Today has been crazy in all the right ways!!! Yesterday it snowed enough for the schools to only be in session for 1.5 hours. We took kids to school late and picked em up early. Parents came early to get home so we could all prepare for one of the biggest storms Seattle has seen in a while. Really? I've heard that before an nothing happened.
I went to bed early like a good little girl in hopes that it would be bright and white out when I woke up. The schools decided to close up last night so I knew I wouldn't be going to work today. I ate some of my delicious crock pot concoction that I dreamed up the day before, it was amazing and will feed me for the next week!! Chock full of veggies and protein. I didn't get out to walk the dog the last two days, too cold and too much to do. I did go for a short walk with him yesterday and shoveled the walk. I had myself a tiny bowl of ice cream last night and it was amazing!! Enough to satiate me and I felt good about the control I had over it.
When I did awake this morning the snow had come!!!!! We had about 4+ inches, which is really nothing, but to us it was huge to this city. Started the day with a cup of coffee and some of my delicious banana mini muffins. I tried to do some work, but my remote desktop was soooo slow that I couldn't handle it. So I bundled up and went out to shovel the walk. I got some before and after photos for you, but it was no joke. The freezing rain started as I was shoveling. Damn, it was cold!! I was sweating though cause it was hard work. After shoveling I decided that it was time for that walk. It was beautiful out and we had heard people cheering and screaming all day. Sounded like a football game and I wanted I check it out. I grabbed Pete and booted up. There were about 200 UW students and neighborhood families sledding down one of the closed streets. They had built a jump in the middle and were hooting and hollering when someone wiped out. It was great to watch!!
I headed on from there and totaled about 5 miles on this snowventure. I walked about 2 miles uphill. I realized that I was about 5 blocks from my favorite donut shop. I decided, hey, I've been working my butt off today outside and freezing my tookis off! So I got myself a donut and told myself I could eat it later or tomorrow when I felt like I deserved it even more. There were a lot of people out and about today. Cross country skiing, snowshoeing, adults building snow caves and plenty of other funny things. My toes somehow got wet and were freezing in my boots. I made it through more freezing rain and finally made it home to thaw out after a quick stop at the grocery store.
I realized something today. The more I sleep, the less I eat. It's true what they say, weight loss is encouraged by more sleep. When I'm rested I feel less stressed and less likely to stuff my face with shit food. These last few days haw shown me that. My body feels good again too. I have been working hard at pumping it with fruit veggies and protein. Trying to stay away from carb and sugar loaded foods. My workouts had been limited to walking this week. Not sure that deciding to hike in the month of January was the best idea. You think I'd be smart enough to realize this is WINTER!!! So hopefully the weather gods will have mercy and grant us some good weekends coming up. Loving the snow, but hoping that soon I can get back to the pool!!
After I survived the frozen wonderland today I got home to defrost. I took of my cold wet clothes and discovered my wet foot was HOT PINK!! I didn't want to jump in the shower and shock it, I knew that would be painful. So I sat in front of the heater and then my food turned purple!!! WITH SPOTS!!! Ahhhhh!!!! I freaked out for a bit and then my foot went back to pink and is now almost thawed. I felt an even more swelled sense of pride that I returned with a war wound and that I had hoofed my fat behind 5 MILES IN THE SNOW!! I'm awesome, you all should know that.
I was so enthralled with snow activities that I forgot to eat. More proof that sleep and an active lifestyle prevents boredom and emotional eating. My man is realizing that I am actually serious about this life changing journey and has been great about getting things I should eat this week. He laughed when I was the one who brought the donuts home today. He made me a small piece of salmon and a tiny portion of cheesy noodles. Because I have been so good today and I have lots of points left we are gonna snow plow up to the fancy Italian place up the street for dinner. They have great this crust gourmet pizza and I'm ready for it.
It's all about integrating things you love into life. Just in moderation and only every one and awhile. Now let's see if I can remember that myself.
Tata for now, I'm off to a shower and some pizza !!! Enjoy the days photos...
I went to bed early like a good little girl in hopes that it would be bright and white out when I woke up. The schools decided to close up last night so I knew I wouldn't be going to work today. I ate some of my delicious crock pot concoction that I dreamed up the day before, it was amazing and will feed me for the next week!! Chock full of veggies and protein. I didn't get out to walk the dog the last two days, too cold and too much to do. I did go for a short walk with him yesterday and shoveled the walk. I had myself a tiny bowl of ice cream last night and it was amazing!! Enough to satiate me and I felt good about the control I had over it.
When I did awake this morning the snow had come!!!!! We had about 4+ inches, which is really nothing, but to us it was huge to this city. Started the day with a cup of coffee and some of my delicious banana mini muffins. I tried to do some work, but my remote desktop was soooo slow that I couldn't handle it. So I bundled up and went out to shovel the walk. I got some before and after photos for you, but it was no joke. The freezing rain started as I was shoveling. Damn, it was cold!! I was sweating though cause it was hard work. After shoveling I decided that it was time for that walk. It was beautiful out and we had heard people cheering and screaming all day. Sounded like a football game and I wanted I check it out. I grabbed Pete and booted up. There were about 200 UW students and neighborhood families sledding down one of the closed streets. They had built a jump in the middle and were hooting and hollering when someone wiped out. It was great to watch!!
I headed on from there and totaled about 5 miles on this snowventure. I walked about 2 miles uphill. I realized that I was about 5 blocks from my favorite donut shop. I decided, hey, I've been working my butt off today outside and freezing my tookis off! So I got myself a donut and told myself I could eat it later or tomorrow when I felt like I deserved it even more. There were a lot of people out and about today. Cross country skiing, snowshoeing, adults building snow caves and plenty of other funny things. My toes somehow got wet and were freezing in my boots. I made it through more freezing rain and finally made it home to thaw out after a quick stop at the grocery store.
I realized something today. The more I sleep, the less I eat. It's true what they say, weight loss is encouraged by more sleep. When I'm rested I feel less stressed and less likely to stuff my face with shit food. These last few days haw shown me that. My body feels good again too. I have been working hard at pumping it with fruit veggies and protein. Trying to stay away from carb and sugar loaded foods. My workouts had been limited to walking this week. Not sure that deciding to hike in the month of January was the best idea. You think I'd be smart enough to realize this is WINTER!!! So hopefully the weather gods will have mercy and grant us some good weekends coming up. Loving the snow, but hoping that soon I can get back to the pool!!
After I survived the frozen wonderland today I got home to defrost. I took of my cold wet clothes and discovered my wet foot was HOT PINK!! I didn't want to jump in the shower and shock it, I knew that would be painful. So I sat in front of the heater and then my food turned purple!!! WITH SPOTS!!! Ahhhhh!!!! I freaked out for a bit and then my foot went back to pink and is now almost thawed. I felt an even more swelled sense of pride that I returned with a war wound and that I had hoofed my fat behind 5 MILES IN THE SNOW!! I'm awesome, you all should know that.
I was so enthralled with snow activities that I forgot to eat. More proof that sleep and an active lifestyle prevents boredom and emotional eating. My man is realizing that I am actually serious about this life changing journey and has been great about getting things I should eat this week. He laughed when I was the one who brought the donuts home today. He made me a small piece of salmon and a tiny portion of cheesy noodles. Because I have been so good today and I have lots of points left we are gonna snow plow up to the fancy Italian place up the street for dinner. They have great this crust gourmet pizza and I'm ready for it.
It's all about integrating things you love into life. Just in moderation and only every one and awhile. Now let's see if I can remember that myself.
Tata for now, I'm off to a shower and some pizza !!! Enjoy the days photos...
Monday, January 16, 2012
Day 14: Seattle Jump on It, Jump on It
I'm jumping all over it today!!! After yesterday's fried food fest tragedy, I went the opposite way today and am setting myself up for success this week. My teen trip to Olympia got cancelled due to weather, so I had the whole day at home again.
First thing on the list, sleep and laundry. Happy to report that I slept in (probably waaaaay later than was necessary), but it felt good nonetheless. Got through my entire laundry basket and ventured out to the grocery store on foot with Pete. We fueled up before hand with a banana and some agua. Picked up some chicken teriyaki for me and the man on the way home.
Spent the afternoon researching and planning food for the week with what I already had in the fridge. I cleaned out quite a few "crevasses" in our apartment as well, which felt great.
So....I mapped out the week. Made some great banana chocolate chip mini muffins that are 1 point each and I am on my way to make some mini chocolate chip cookies that are 1 point each as well. Muffins taste great and are made with yogurt instead of butter and oil and will suffice for my sweet carb cravings in the mornings. The cookies are made with egg whites and help curb cravings when I want a giant helping of ice cream or the temptation in eating large cookies.
Cleaning out the fridge and freezer was fun!!! I pulled out one of my favorite cooking tools....the crock pot. So I threw in a frozen chicken breast, some frozen cube steak, a can of diced tomatoes, a can of tomato sauce, a large bundle of fresh green beans, 2 cups of fresh mushrooms, 3 diced potatoes, 2 zucchini squash and a myriad of spices. Im cooking it on low for about 3 hours. It's only 5 points a serving and I can't wait to eat it for dinner for the rest of the week. Packed with veggies, flavor and nutrients.
I'm jumping all over it people. I love food and I'm taking control this week!
First thing on the list, sleep and laundry. Happy to report that I slept in (probably waaaaay later than was necessary), but it felt good nonetheless. Got through my entire laundry basket and ventured out to the grocery store on foot with Pete. We fueled up before hand with a banana and some agua. Picked up some chicken teriyaki for me and the man on the way home.
Spent the afternoon researching and planning food for the week with what I already had in the fridge. I cleaned out quite a few "crevasses" in our apartment as well, which felt great.
So....I mapped out the week. Made some great banana chocolate chip mini muffins that are 1 point each and I am on my way to make some mini chocolate chip cookies that are 1 point each as well. Muffins taste great and are made with yogurt instead of butter and oil and will suffice for my sweet carb cravings in the mornings. The cookies are made with egg whites and help curb cravings when I want a giant helping of ice cream or the temptation in eating large cookies.
Cleaning out the fridge and freezer was fun!!! I pulled out one of my favorite cooking tools....the crock pot. So I threw in a frozen chicken breast, some frozen cube steak, a can of diced tomatoes, a can of tomato sauce, a large bundle of fresh green beans, 2 cups of fresh mushrooms, 3 diced potatoes, 2 zucchini squash and a myriad of spices. Im cooking it on low for about 3 hours. It's only 5 points a serving and I can't wait to eat it for dinner for the rest of the week. Packed with veggies, flavor and nutrients.
I'm jumping all over it people. I love food and I'm taking control this week!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Day 13: Winter Wonderland
Today was a beautiful day. I love snow and today it dumped for five hours!!! Had to buy a snow shovel and everything. The weather did cause a change in plans for the day. Roads were definitely iffy this morning so we decided to cancel the swim session and pedicure appointments. Instead I strapped up the pooch, put on Tony's oversized puffy coat and headed out to enjoy the snow. It was like being at the north pole there was so much snow. We trekked to the laundry mat to get some quarters, to the bank to deposit a check and then down to the village for a latte. I went for a latte and I was hungry, so I decided to try the new chicken sausage wrap at the Buck. It was delicious!! Tons of veggies, egg whites and chicken sausage, only 7 WW points for the whole thing!!
The man and I headed to Target for some de-icer for our complex and a snow shovel. Grabbed myself a boat load of veggies for meals this week and some new fiber chocolate products, we shall see how they taste. Came home and sweated it out for about 45 minutes shoveling all of the walkways and sidewalks around our apartment complex.
Though I got out and made the most of my day, food seemed to have gotten the best of me today. I made good choices this morning, but I allowed myself to indulge this afternoon and then I just kept on going. The thing is, I knew what I was doing. I didn't go bananas, but I ate things that made me feel crappy. The man and I went out to target and "swung" by Ezells for some lunch. Do you know what Ezells is? It's the most amazing fried chicken on the planet. But more amazing than the chicken are their rolls. Seriously, amazing. So Tony went for 4 pieces of chicken. I had a leg and 2 rolls. Not my finest moment, but it tasted amazing. I was still within my points for lunch, but it wasn't the best choice for my body.
The evening brought an outing with 8 of my wonderful middle schoolers. Every time I take kids out for dinner, they chose Red Robin. Red Robin has a ton of choices, but all of my favorites are not what I should be eating. So, I compromised, I had my favorite burger on a lettuce bed instead of a bun and minus the mayo. Instead of regular fries, I had sweet potato fries. The fries weren't that good, so I only ate like 4. The burger was hard to eat, but better than eating a bun. Sad news is...that I substituted eating a bun and fries and instead ate 4 onion rings. Ahhhh!!!! Seriously fatty, can't you control yourself???? It's only been 13 days and I already caved. Funny thing is, I was still within my weight watchers points. But I haven't had that much fried stuff since December and it definitely made me sick. So if nothing else today, my body told me I needed to stop, let me know this wasn't what I needed.
This is real people, I LOVE food! I love it fried and cooked with butter. I need to keep learning how to stop myself, how to let my brain know its not necessary to have that to be happy.
A low point for the week. Time to recover and get back on my feet tomorrow. I didnt feel out of control, but I felt bad about what I was doing. I want to feel good about the choices I make. If I choose a fried option, I want to feel in control and like it was a good choice, not something I caved into.
Tomorrow: more walking, more walking, more walking. No fried food.
The man and I headed to Target for some de-icer for our complex and a snow shovel. Grabbed myself a boat load of veggies for meals this week and some new fiber chocolate products, we shall see how they taste. Came home and sweated it out for about 45 minutes shoveling all of the walkways and sidewalks around our apartment complex.
Though I got out and made the most of my day, food seemed to have gotten the best of me today. I made good choices this morning, but I allowed myself to indulge this afternoon and then I just kept on going. The thing is, I knew what I was doing. I didn't go bananas, but I ate things that made me feel crappy. The man and I went out to target and "swung" by Ezells for some lunch. Do you know what Ezells is? It's the most amazing fried chicken on the planet. But more amazing than the chicken are their rolls. Seriously, amazing. So Tony went for 4 pieces of chicken. I had a leg and 2 rolls. Not my finest moment, but it tasted amazing. I was still within my points for lunch, but it wasn't the best choice for my body.
The evening brought an outing with 8 of my wonderful middle schoolers. Every time I take kids out for dinner, they chose Red Robin. Red Robin has a ton of choices, but all of my favorites are not what I should be eating. So, I compromised, I had my favorite burger on a lettuce bed instead of a bun and minus the mayo. Instead of regular fries, I had sweet potato fries. The fries weren't that good, so I only ate like 4. The burger was hard to eat, but better than eating a bun. Sad news is...that I substituted eating a bun and fries and instead ate 4 onion rings. Ahhhh!!!! Seriously fatty, can't you control yourself???? It's only been 13 days and I already caved. Funny thing is, I was still within my weight watchers points. But I haven't had that much fried stuff since December and it definitely made me sick. So if nothing else today, my body told me I needed to stop, let me know this wasn't what I needed.
This is real people, I LOVE food! I love it fried and cooked with butter. I need to keep learning how to stop myself, how to let my brain know its not necessary to have that to be happy.
A low point for the week. Time to recover and get back on my feet tomorrow. I didnt feel out of control, but I felt bad about what I was doing. I want to feel good about the choices I make. If I choose a fried option, I want to feel in control and like it was a good choice, not something I caved into.
Tomorrow: more walking, more walking, more walking. No fried food.
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